My brown ass is gonna plop on a deluxe leather seat when I get home. The one that vibrates and has these built-in massage elbows. Meantime, Mama-san's gettin' ready her tools to give my ten brats the business. Deluxe package, she'll ask? What do you think, Mama-san? Mama-san's eyeballs poke out her mask in the … Continue reading A sailor’s return, imagined
Smile
I'm sitting in an airplane to Kotzebue, Alaska. More than half of the passengers is comprised of Eskimo natives. Randomly, I wonder if Eskimo is a native group or if it comprises several native groups. Hey Google. We land. The older ones waiting for their bags don't seem to have any teeth. Their lips are … Continue reading Smile
Let’s try this instead
A silver fox who she gets to decide is foxy or not. For sure, though, a man of letters and the sea; hell, worked for (Joseph) Conrad. I'm also an empty-nester dad figuring out what comes next. Maybe it's all that accumulated salt air, but for the life of me I can't stop thinking about … Continue reading Let’s try this instead
A negative birthday
There's a water slash amusement park close to where I live that's closing down for good after this summer. The Google says it's because of huge losses after the pandemic plus mounting operational costs. I suppose by the latter, Google means old equipment getting older, thus requiring more aggressive preventative maintenance, upgrades, fixes. It's a … Continue reading A negative birthday
So much excellence
I've been around some real excellence the past couple weeks. The first was my 35th college reunion and running into many who were just absolutely and positively crushing it in medicine and in law and in money management and in real estate. Nobody that I ran into, anyway, was crushing it in writing, so there's … Continue reading So much excellence
Go!
I'm taking a leak alongside a former classmate. A minute or so goes by, and I say to him, "You remember when this took about 30 seconds?" "No shit," he says. We bust out in some laughter. My piss takes a break, his too maybe. We idle there at the urinal, not pissing, just bullshitting … Continue reading Go!
Question
I'm noticing this something or other a few times lately among a few close and not-so-close homies in various compartments of my life. It has to do with our president. In what I like to call Operation I Can't Take This Shit Anymore, an epic and mass defection has taken place in which, very specifically, … Continue reading Question
Dear Mr. J
Just about every sea story starts out the same way: "No shit, this one time. . . " I guess since I'm penning this right now while out to sea on a boat towing rocks and heavy machinery to Who Knows Where, AK, why not? Even though it's not really a sea story. No shit, … Continue reading Dear Mr. J
We want a divorce
It wasn't terribly long ago the unctuous Bill Clinton aka Slick Willy occupied the White House, not inhaling; having sex outside of his marriage, yes, okay, but not like sex sex, passing laws and other presidential stuffs; basically governing in a way that, well, shit, he was reelected, wasn't he? I wasn't hugely political back … Continue reading We want a divorce
Until He says so
You know the surest way to knock yourself down a few more pegs is to check out several of your old classmates' profiles on the LinkedIn. Partner. President Principal. And not the high school kind, either. Might I strongly recommend you not do that, embark on said lark whilst ensconced in the middle of a … Continue reading Until He says so
Things Men Carry 